This is my friend Bill. Bill works at a bank. Bill likes NASCAR. Bill also likes getting rip-roaring drunk and leaving me funny voicemails. Listen to them. They're quite enjoyable.

Voicemail #1 (3/10/04) - In this one, Bill utters the classic phrases, "I Love Fucking Bitches (1:03)" and "Don't Touch My Dick (3:22)".

Voicemail #2 (3/09/08) - Bill starts making cutesy voices. Adorable.